I’ve never thought much about storytelling. I can spin a decent yarn on paper, but don’t ask me to tell a story in person. I fluster and flummox, incapable of delivering the basic facts or (god forbid) a punch line. I’ve never considered my life in terms of stories – just clumps of events, thoughts, compulsions, relationships and biological necessities.

All of that changed last month when I discovered the subtly subversive subculture of The Moth. The Moth is an “acclaimed not-for-profit organization dedicated to the art and craft of storytelling. Since its launch in 1997, the Moth has presented thousands of stories, told live and without notes, to standing-room-only crowds worldwide.”

I happened to be on Martha’s Vineyard when The Moth came to town a few weeks ago. The live storytelling event was held in a small chapel. I had no idea what to expect when I went in, but I was surprised and changed when I came out.

That evening, I heard stories from six decidedly different people, from the “fame-ish” former children’s TV star struggling with his true identity to the eighty-year-old murder-mystery author relearning how to love.

Each story was limited to 10 minutes, but the clock was the farthest thing from my mind. Time and space fell away and nothing existed but me and the storyteller. I could not tear away my eyes and ears. I didn’t even want to sneeze or scratch for fear of missing something.

Suddenly I felt deeply connected to these people that I had “nothing” in common with.  The illusion of separation evaporated. The assumption of difference disappeared. And we were all just a bunch of people in a room with stories to hear and stories to tell. The details of these stories may be unique, but the themes are universal.

The next day I signed up for a week-long The Moth for Writers workshop that was offered as part of the roving Moth event. Once again, I didn’t really know what to expect, I just felt an overwhelming compulsion to participate. There were eight writers in the group from various literary disciplines and persuasions.

Over the course of the week, it became apparent that we were all feeling the same way: freaked out to high-heaven, but determined to push our envelopes and mine our internal story-laden caverns.

I was under the impression that we’d have an opportunity to present our stories at the end of the week, not an obligation. I assumed my story wouldn’t be worth telling. But as time passed I realized that I owed it – out loud – to myself, to the others in the group, and to whoever might be listening.

On the last day of the workshop, we all got up and told our stories. In front of a microphone. On a stage with nice lighting. Not for pretense or fanfare, but to elevate our sense of doing something meaningful. And for just a moment, we let everyone in the room behind the curtain.

We told of first communions and unrequited love. Childhood shame and family drama. Excruciating loss and staggering growth. Stories of realization, integration and transformation. Pretty big stuff for a little five-minute story.

Since then, I’ve tried to listen to one Moth story every day. It’s like a daily prescription for perspective and hope. A handy reminder of our shared humanity.

Catch The Moth Story Hour on Public Radio, download the podcasts, or find live events in your area. You might even surprise yourself by submitting your own story for consideration…

 

CURTAINS for WHOM

Most of my love ‘em or leave ‘em posts are dedicated to common grammatical errors that I’d hate to see gain enough traction to become “right”.

That is, I’d choose to leave ‘em. . .

But occasionally, I must profess my love for a few of these improper rogues.

Case in point: the comfy who vs. the highfalutin’ and snootin’ whom.

I’m guilty of using who instead of whom 100% of the time. There is not one instance that I can ever recall saying the word whom in my 42 years on this planet. And I probably haven’t written it since my college entry essay back in 1988.

The rule for who/m is logical enough. Who and whom are relative pronouns – they relate to the subject and the direct object. Bob (subject) saw Mary (object). He saw her. In the question “Who saw her?”, who relates to the subject (Bob). In the question “Whom did Bob see?”, whom relates to the object (her). Who saw whom? Bob saw Mary.

To complicate matters further, it’s technically incorrect to end a sentence with a preposition, so “Who are you giving that apple to?” should really be “To whom are you giving that apple?” But really, who would ever say that?

Jiminy Cricket, it’s confusing – and no surprise that whom has declined in general usage. At this point no one under the age of eighty can utter the word without sounding like:

  1. a pompous ass, or
  2. faux British aristocracy

You’re not likely to hearExcuse me, driver, to whom should I pay my bus fare?the next time you experience public transit.

Faux pompous asses aside, I predict whom will be obsolete by 2030, and we will cling nostalgic to a few iconic phrases reminding us of those bygone days. Certainly no one will re-title Papa’s masterpiece. And whom would dare alter the old standby “To Whom it May Concern”?

Do you use whom? Love it or leave it?

 

courtesy of clip-art library

Summer is in full swing and the sun has gone full-frontal. And this short spell of long days means more time outdoors. If you’re sun savvy, you’re seeking shade from 10am-4pm, wearing protective clothing, donning a constant hat, and wearing sunscreen.

Wait, wearing sunscreen? Is that even safe anymore?

Therein lies the crux of the sunscreen conundrum, the solar catch-22. You wear sunscreen to protect yourself from skin cancer, but increasing research shows that conventional sunscreens contain chemicals that can actually cause cancer – as well as disrupt hormones and trigger allergies.

The eco-minded could develop whiplash following the ongoing sunscreen debate. But don’t throw in the beach towel yet. You just need to know what to avoid, what to seek out, and why.

Following are a few nuggets from the front line of the sunscreen debate…

Chemical vs Physical

Chemical sunscreens are absorbed directly into the skin and work by diverting the sun’s rays. These chemicals, such as avobenzone, homosalate, octisalate, oxybenzone and octocrylene, are typically found in combination since some soak up only UVA rays, some just UVB.

Most sunscreen chemicals on the market do technically “work” – they do the job of absorbing radiation. They are appealing because they’re invisible, versatile, and a snap to apply – particularly on squirmy kids eager to hop in the pool.

But they can have significant impact on people and the environment. Because they penetrate the skin and cannot be washed away, they can actually get into the bloodstream, causing allergic reactions and disrupting hormones, including the reproductive hormones testosterone and estrogen. Oxybenzone is also toxic to coral reefs, which provide sustenance as well as critical shoreline buffer from floods and storms.

Many chemical sunscreens break down in sunlight, so they can actually damage the very skin they’re applied to protect. When these chemicals break down, they create DNA-damaging free radicals as well as leaving skin vulnerable to UV radiation.

Physical sunscreens, like zinc and titanium, sit on top of the skin and reflect both UVA and UVB rays. They are not absorbed into the skin. They do not break down in sunlight, so they are longer-lasting than chemical sunscreens. Some formulas are thicker, harder to apply, and leave a telltale “Casper” residue.

“Inactive” Ingredients

As great as they may sound (Anti-aging! Sexy-smelling! Vitamin-packed!), in most cases these added chemicals aren’t recognized as safe. Paraben preservatives are allergenic and have been found in breast cancer tumors. Synthetic fragrances can contain phthalates. Vitamin A (retinol/retinyl palmitate) can work wonders in a night cream, but when exposed to sunlight can actually speed tumor growth.

A good rule of thumb is: the shorter the ingredient list, the better.

True SPF

In theory, SPF70 should let you stay out in the sun 70 times longer than without sunscreen. In reality, your skin is not the only thing getting burned by unregulated product labeling. Manufacturers can – and often do – fudge their SPF ratings.

The truth is, the higher the SPF, the higher the FSS (False Sense of Security). People wearing high SPF tend to stay out longer than they should and reapply less often, racking up more UV radiation than those who use a lower SPF.

Nano or Not

The “Casper” effect of zinc or titanium is probably the number one reason sunbathers reach for chemical blocks instead. Many companies have recently developed “clear” zinc formulas, some with nano particles. But not enough research has been done to greenlight these minute molecules, which are so small they might penetrate into the bloodstream and cause cellular damage. For now, it’s wise to avoid nano formulas. Brands of non-nano sunscreens vary widely, so experiment to find a texture you like.

Skip the Spray

What could be more convenient than a quick spritz of sunscreen? As tempting as sprays and powders may be, lotions and creams are a better bet. Spray formulas contain chemical filters and powders typically contain physical screens, but both are easily inhaled and can cause lung damage.

The (bikini) Bottom Line

Safer chemical sunscreens have already been developed and are used widely in Europe, and hopefully the FDA will follow suit.

Until then, here’s the nutshell to choosing a sunscreen:

  • Go with physical, non-nano zinc oxide or titanium oxide lotions or creams
  • Avoid chemical blocks, preservatives and fragrances
  • When swimming or sporting, use a water-resistant formula
  • Choose a “broad-spectrum” formula with SPF 15-50
  • Use at least 1-2 oz for the whole body and reapply every two hours

For more scoop and to see if your favorite brand makes the cut, check the EWG’s Sunscreen Guide.

My personal fave is BurnOut – easy to apply, very water-resistant.

Which are your favorites?

 

 

My formal training is as a linguist, not an English teacher, so I know that language is a fluid thing. What is considered incorrect can become correct through a critical mass of mainstream usage. But there are just certain “wrongs” that I’d hate to see gain enough traction to become “right”. 

Are you guilty of using any of these? Do you think we should love ‘em (accept these transgressions and let them creep into our textbooks) or leave ‘em?

The Pesky Apostrophe

Mary likes to eat bagel’s with cream cheese and tomato.

I just saw three bird’s in that pine tree.

This one kills me – apostrophes where they don’t belong. Instead of putting a plain old “s” on the end of a word to indicate the plural, people often feel compelled to add an apostrophe, inadvertently rendering it possessive and thoroughly ungrammatical.

Correct:

Mary likes to eat bagels with cream cheese and tomato.

I just saw three birds in that pine tree.

There are rare cases it’s acceptable to use an apostrophe to indicate plural to avoid grammatical chaos – most often when talking about more than one individual letter.

There are two t’s in the word letter.

Other than that, keep your pesky apostrophe under wraps.

Now that you’re aware of the pesky apostrophe, you won’t believe how often you witness it. In your boss’s emails, plastered on the side of the bus, at the deli—no place is immune. And you’re pretty much guaranteed a pesky apostrophe when an acronym is involved:

CD’s sold here.

Check out our selection of flat screen TV’s!

I really have no explanation for why this error is so rampant, or how it got started in the first place. Frankly, I think it might be too late – the pesky apostrophe appears to have so deeply infiltrated the English-speaking population, it may soon be widely accepted.

What do you think of the pesky apostrophe? Love it or leave it?

 

 

Plastic is convenient and universal. But if you’ve read the news lately, you probably have a nagging suspicion that it’s not as miraculous and harmless as it once seemed. The islands of plastic clogging our oceans. The animals enjoying a steady diet of plastic bags. The tin can linings and baby bottles infused with endocrine-disrupting chemicals. Even the president is telling us to ditch plastic in our microwaves.

Here are three solid reasons to avoid plastic:

  1. It can leach dangerous chemicals into your food. Some plastic wraps are PVC (polyvinyl chloride), which is made with heavy metals like lead and has been linked to asthma, liver damage and DNA mutation. Many food storage options – like plastic containers and sports bottles – are made with BPA, which is believed to increase reproductive problems and cancer risk.
  2. Plastic wraps/baggies are used once and then tossed, creating mountains of garbage that can take decades to degrade.
  3. When plastic does degrade, its chemical components just wind up in our water, soil, and the bodies of most critters in the food chain – including us.

There are better choices for the Earth and the humans that live here. The key to kicking the plastic habit is a good arsenal of reusable alternatives.

In the Kitchen

Different products work for different types of food storage needs – experiment with what works for you. Although conventional plastic products are handy and transparent, there are many glass, silicone and BPA-free plastic options to ensure your food doesn’t languish unidentified in the nether regions of your fridge.

u-konserve food cozy

  • The recycled, BPA-free U-Konserve Clear Food Cozy is designed with Velcro closures – perfect for wrapping sandwiches, cheese and other tidbits.
  • Replace plastic Tupperware with glass Pyrex containers in a variety of sizes. Good old-fashioned food storage, just like Mom used to use.

abeego flat wrap

  • Use Abeego Flats instead of plastic wrap to cover bowls. Made of moldable beeswax-covered fabric, it’s fluid and air-resistant to keep food fresh.
  • Plastic leaches more with fatty or warm foods, so never use it in the microwave. Heat or cook in your Pyrex, or use a silicone cover for your daily dishes. Coverflex makes a good set.
  • Instead of recycling empty peanut butter and mayo jars, wash and re-use them. They’re just the right size for storing leftovers and single servings.

On the Go

With the right tools and a pinch of planning, lunches and picnics can turn green, too.

  • Refill stainless steel water bottles instead of buying bottled water. Make your own sparkling water and flavored sodas with a bubbly maker like SodaStream, which comes with reusable bottles.

sodastream

  • If you have a thing for baggies, reusable pouches are right up your alley. Snack Taxi and BleuRoo make adorable organic pouches that are moisture resistant and machine washable. They are indispensable travel companions and can be used for lunches, snacks, crayons, makeup, DVDs – you name it.
  • For lunches, the Planet Box is a game changer. It makes packing so easy, you’ll wonder how you survived before you had one (or two, or three). Cozy compartments keep sandwich and snacks safe and sound.

bleuroo pouch

 

 

 

 

 

planetbox
  • Get some reusable shopping bags – and use them! Invest in bags made from renewable fabric, like Envirosax’s stylin’ hemp, bamboo or organic cotton models. But any reusable bag is better than a take n’ toss. Keep a stash in your car or coat closet for last-minute grocery runs. Pop a Chico Bag in your purse or pocket. You’ll never have to say yes to a plastic bag again.

envirosax

How do you avoid plastics?

1 Comment

Screen shot 2012-05-29 at 12.13.42 PMMy formal training is as a linguist, not an English teacher, so I know that language is a fluid thing. What is considered incorrect can become correct through a critical mass of mainstream usage. But there are just certain “wrongs” that I’d hate to see gain enough

traction to become “right”.

Are you guilty of using any of these? Do you think we should love ‘em (accept these transgressions and let them creep into our textbooks) or leave ‘em?

Would Of

In my last Love ‘em or Leave ‘em, I aired my beef with what I call The Double Woulda.

If I would have known you were going to the market, I would have asked you to buy some pork rinds.

Correct: If I had known you were going to the market, I would have asked you to buy some pork rinds.)

Although it is often used on its own, the cringe factor of the Double Woulda can be compounded by the good ol’ “Would OF”.

If I would of known about the party last night, I would of attended.

(With grammar like that, you probably weren’t invited.)

Correct: If I had known about the party last night, I would have attended.

You don’t notice it as much when people talk because “of” and “have” can sound very similar when spoken conversationally. But there’s no mistaking it when you see it written.

Here’s what Grammar Girl says: “…let’s take a look at what has happened to the constructions “would have,” “could have,” and “should have.” People have heard the perfectly correct [contraction] “could’ve”—and heard it as “could of.”

There’s the helping verb “could,” but then if you spell it “could of,” it has no main verb to help.  So, in theory, it’s helping a preposition, “of.”  Sorry, it doesn’t work that way.  It’s “could have.”

Here’s what I say: it’s a slippery slope when sounds get diluted or dropped altogether because of lazy enunciation. We Americans are particularly guilty of this— the French gleefully accuse us of eating our words (manger les mots) like we’re talking with a triple wad of Dubble Bubble in there…

If verbal degradation like “would of” creeps into the mainstream, moral depravity could be right around the corner. Look what happened when they let everyone listen to rock ‘n roll. Call me old fashioned, but it’s my firm belief that we should fight to keep would OF away from the children.

What do you think about “Would Of”? Love it or leave it?

Montalembert Terrace

The dilemma: You’re planning a getaway to the city of light, but the Hotel Costes is eternally booked and Le Crillon is dazzling but slightly stuffy. The solution: two Left Bank hotels that are the antidote to the standard too-la-la Parisian luxury fare.

Tucked into two corners of the celebrated St Germain quarter, the Hotel Bel Ami and the Hotel Montalembert are within walking distance of such essential points of interest as the literary cafes of the Latin Quarter, the galleries and designer shops near Boulevard St Germain, and the Louvre and Musee D’Orsay.

You may hear a lot of English spoken in the lobbies, but it is because these boutique gems are popular with Americans that they boast friendly staffs and – pas possible! – such elusive amenities as 24-hour room service.

Bel Ami Bar

Bel Ami Bar

With its minimalist design and relaxed attitude, the Hotel Bel Ami is a study in modern luxury. The interactive lobby rolls out the welcome mat with comfy couches, shelves of well-loved books, two slick computer workstations and an adjacent espresso bar.

Bel Ami Room

Bel Ami Room

Downstairs in the breakfast room Cafe, guests can join a sunny congregation of hip, young cosmopolites and enjoy a sumptuous, decidedly un-continental breakfast buffet. Rooms are generous by Parisian standards, decorated in soothing, saturated colors. All part of the Bel Ami’s implicit invitation to take off your shoes and stay awhile.

Montalembert Lobby

Montalembert Restaurant

The Hotel Montalembert has long been the darling of interior designers and fashion editors. Recently refurbished mostly mod, it happily retains many details revealing its rich history as a retreat for writers and artists. Take a ride up in the original 1926 iron Rococo-style elevator, but send your luggage up with the bellman, because it’s built for two! Most guest rooms are equally cozy and utterly charming. And the rich, cocoa-colored marble bathrooms are oases of design perfection.

The Montalembert’s new Bar and Grill, with a fresh and healthy take on gourmet fusion, is a destination restaurant scene for locals and visitors alike – with a private salon for those who want to see without being seen.

 

 

 

 

 My formal training is as a linguist, not an English teacher, so I know that language is a fluid thing. What is considered incorrect can become correct through a critical mass of mainstream usage. But there are just certain “wrongs” that I’d hate to see gain enough traction to become “right”. 

 Are you guilty of using any of these? Do you think we should love ‘em (accept these transgressions and let them creep into our textbooks) or leaveem?

 

 The Double Woulda

If I would have known you were going to the market, I would have asked you to get me some pork rinds.

When talking about something that didn’t happen in the past, many people use the conditional perfect (if I would have known) when they should be using the past perfect (if I had known).

In the above example, your daughter finds out you went to the market, and says she would have asked for some pork rinds if she had known you were going. (I won’t even ask why you’re letting your kid eat pork rinds.)

The correct way to say this is with the past perfect in the “if” clause, and the conditional perfect in the “then” clause:

If I had known you were going to the market, I would have asked you to get me some pork rinds.

I think one reason people make this mistake is it feels satisfying to make the verb tense in each clause match: “If I would have ___, then I would have ___.”

Another reason is that all this stuff is happening in the conditional, in that gray area where things could, would or should happen—but don’t necessarily. So people often use what I affectionately refer to as “The Double Woulda” to convey that.

It makes a kind of sense, but it doesn’t make it correct. If you woulda studied your grammar in grade school, you woulda known that…

 

What do you think about The Double Woulda? Love it or leave it?

 

courtesy of Change My Desk

In today’s culture, we have never had so many choices – and yet so little time. With all the buzz about going green, we are often too busy to do green. And even with the best intentions, it can feel inconvenient to instill those values in our kids.

But if you start with just a few changes and walk the walk, your kids will fall in step. Soon those green steps will become second nature to the whole family.

Remind your kids how powerful they are. That their everyday choices can make a monumental difference in the world. And that starting small is often the best way to do big things.

GO ORGANIC

Organic has become a marketing darling these days, but what does it mean exactly?

Simply put, organic crops and animals are grown without pesticides, synthetic fertilizers, GMOs (genetically modified organisms), antibiotics or growth hormones. So if we want to keep all those things out of our water, our soil and our bodies, it makes sense to choose organic.

Since organic isn’t always possible or available, find out which foods are most laden with chemicals. For a list of the top 12 foods to buy organic, check out the Environmental Working Group’s Dirty Dozen.

Bring your kids to the market with you. Tell them what you’re buying, and why. Give them good reasons for avoiding overly-processed and conventionally-farmed foods. Let them pick out a new fruit or vegetable to taste. Send them on a scavenger hunt to tally all the “organic” labels they can find.

JUST SAY KNOW

What’s on and around our bodies is just as important as what goes into them. Because we end up absorbing and inhaling a lot of the personal care and cleaning products we use, it pays to know what we’re buying.

Many conventional products – like bathroom cleaners, shampoo, even toothpaste – contain a cocktail of sketchy chemicals that can irritate skin, disrupt hormones or damage DNA.

But which chemicals are toxic, and which have a proven safety record?

The Environmental Working Group has all the scoop you need to make informed choices about everything from food and water to cosmetics, sunscreens and cleaning products.

THE 4Rs

  • Reduce: Accumulate less stuff in the first place. Before you buy a new gadget or snag a freebie, assess your true needs and desires. Will you use it, or will it promptly be retired to the junk drawer or landfill? Choose quality over quantity. Simplify, contemplate, evaluate.
  • Reuse: Many things destined for the recycle bin or trash can be given a second life.  Use small storage bins to organize reincarnated items: an art box for buttons, yogurt cups and fabric scraps; a gift wrap box for gently-used ribbon and paper. Use swatches of old T-shirts instead of paper towels, and empty peanut butter jars instead of plastic tupperware.
  • Recycle: If you already recycle, get your kids involved in the nitty-gritty details. They can rinse out empties, sort plastics from paper, and take the bin to the curb on pickup day.
  • Rot: Compost whatever you can. Even toddlers can rescue food scraps from landfill. If you don’t have curbside pickup, lobby your local refuse company to start service. Or get your own Envirocycle compost barrel.

NURTURE NATURE

Kids are becoming more and more disconnected with the natural world. They spend less time in nature and more time indoors and plugged in. If they are outside, they’re often on a groomed soccer field than in the wild woods hunting beetles, peeping leaves or foraging for mushrooms.

The best way for kids to relate to nature is to experience its beauty and mystery firsthand. Go hiking in the hills, camping in the woods, swimming in a lake. Prioritize nature vacations. Your kids will realize it’s their privilege to protect the Earth – for the flora and fauna, for themselves, and for generations to come.

How do you help your kids to think green? What are your favorite family eco-tips?